Uniffors


The Indispensable Chief of Staff

Posted in Manuel Buencamino by uniffors on the January 26th, 2013

“I can’t live if living is without you” - Mariah Carey

Let’s put a stop to all the talk about an illicit love affair between Senate President Juan Ponce Enrile and his long time chief of staff, Atty. Gigi Reyes. It is none of our business what Enrile does with his staff.

Our only business is with Enrile’s pubic life, whether he behaved above board in handling the finances of the Senate and whether or not Atty. Reyes stepped over the line as Enrile’s most trusted staff aide. So let’s move on and give Atty. Reyes credit for tendering her irrevocable resignation immediately after Sen. Cayetano’s privilege speech.

Everyone agrees she did the right thing except Enrile, to whom she is indispensable. “I will talk to her. I will convince her to stay because there are so many administrative matters that I can no longer handle and which she is more knowledgeable,” he said.

I was curious how Enrile would use his persuasive powers to talk Reyes out of her decision so I activated the listening device that I surreptitiously implanted on Enrile’s neck many years ago, back when I was working undercover for a not-to-be-named spy agency.

I turned the device on by remote control and put on my headphones. I waited. And waited. That’s what spies do 99 percent of the time. We wait. I must have fallen asleep at some point because Johnny and Gigi were in the thick of it when I finally caught up with them.

    “My God Gigi, don’t let go now! Hold tight!”

    “It’s going to get very messy if I don’t let go right now, Sir.”

    “I don’t care about the mess! Just keep doing what you are doing.”

    “But, Sir, quitting now is for your own good. It’s the only way to stop Senator Alan Peter from shafting you with your own staff.”

    “You can’t quit! You know I can’t do it by myself anymore. Not at my age. You have to help me out.”

    “I’m tired of it. What else can I say?”

    “Gigi, I’ve never had anyone like you working on my staff. I’ve grown to depend on your helping hand.”

    “But everyone in the office can do what I do for you. I trained all of them. They won’t leave you hanging high and dry, they know as much as I do about giving you complete staff work.”

    “Hija, I don’t mind if they take over from you every once in a while but not full-time. It will take too long for me to get used to a new hand. I’m too old for that.”

    “Look at it on the bright side, Sir. We had a great run.”

    “Don’t talk to me in the past tense! My God, I’m still Senate President. I have a lot of power. And so do you. I made you chief of staff because I needed a good head in my office. You are the best I’ve ever had.”

    “Thank you. But Sir…”

    “Anong but but? What’s the matter, are you tired of heading my staff? Don’t you like it anymore?”

    “I never said I did not like it.”

    “Then why do you want to stop what you are doing?”

    “It will explode in our faces if I don’t. Cool off a bit, we can always pick up where we left off.”

    “My God, Gigi, I don’t have time to play around. I’m not young anymore.”

    “Sir, I’ve made my decision. I’m going, I blew it and that’s it. I won’t take you down with me as well.”

    “Gigi…”

    “Sir, your BP is shooting up. Let’s stop this. NOW.”

    “MY GOD, GIGI…”

    “Medic!!!”

I don’t know what happened next because my wife called from downstairs, “Get your ass down here breakfast is getting cold!”

I rushed downstairs and told her, “Honey, you’re not going to believe what I listened to all night long…” hoping that would explain why I overslept.

“What do you mean listened? You started to snore as soon as you put on your headphone. You were dreaming.”

“I was?”

“Yes and you’re perspiring, what did you dream about?”

“Oh nothing, just another staffer getting a mouthful from her boss.”

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