Magkalaguyo na, magkakonchaba pa

Posted in Brownman's Posts by uniffors on the September 27th, 2006

There is nothing juicier than a scandal involving sex and corruption, specially if it involves employees of a big house by the Pasig. We are not talking about the Arroyo couple.

Anyway, rumors are flying about a romantic duo who have teamed up to corner lucrative contracts with the Chinese, French, and Indians.

Does the queen know about the affair? Maybe. But there’s nothing she can do about it. Sex between consenting adults is nobody’s business, except, perhaps, for the spouse or spouses who may be interested in asking about love offerings – diamonds and cars – and that cozy love nest at the Fort.

The queen can order the PAGC, her in-house anti-graft body, to investigate the allegations of corruption. But she won’t because the man involved is indispensable to her. The woman, on the other hand, well… we’ll see soon enough if she’ll continue to be useful to the queen.

Panic in the Palace

Posted in Manuel Buencamino by uniffors on the September 27th, 2006

Why is Mrs. Arroyo terrified?

The Inquirer reported. “Defensor said Malacañang’s legal team was currently reviewing the possibility of locking up Estrada’s assets that were not frozen in 2001.”

What on earth for?

“We have received information that former president Estrada’s assets that have not been frozen by Sandiganbayan may be used against the administration,” said Mrs. Arroyo in Defensor’s voice.

Used how? For a coup or for a senatorial campaign?

If Erap runs for senator, Mrs. Arroyo will have to confiscate the assets of millions of Filipinos who will vote for Erap just to show her how much they despise her.

The order has been issued, “Get the new constitution done before May or start confiscating assets.”

The Queen’s Euro Diary

Posted in Manuel Buencamino by uniffors on the September 27th, 2006

Gloria Arroyo did not give us a report on her recent junket. Fortunately, Manuel Buencamino was able to buy one.

The Queen’s Euro-diary

Dispatches from the Enchanted Kingdom
Manuel Buencamino

Here’s another purloined page from the Queen’s diary.

Dear Diary,

I’m still dizzy from circling the globe. I delivered Asean’s address at the Asia Europe Meeting, I reported the success of the Oceans Initiative which I hosted, I talked about my commitment to sustainable development, and I called for more research into alternative and indigenous energy sources to address global warming and to achieve world peace through energy security.

I didn’t have time to share my vision of organizing an alternative energy cartel, Ojpec (Organization of Jathropa Producing and Exporting Countries), as a counterweight to Opec, but I managed to assure the Europeans that more investments and trade with Asean will lead to more jobs in Europe. For supermaids.

I want undiluted powers – Gloria

Posted in Manuel Buencamino by uniffors on the September 26th, 2006

This statement issued under Ignacio Bunye’s name is pure Gloria. Dummies don’t speak without a ventriloquist.

    “Statement of Secretary Ignacio R. Bunye Re: Presidential Appointees

    The President’s appointments to key Cabinet and military posts are based on merit and fitness and must not be whimsically treated in this manner by the legislature.

    The Chief Executive is responsible for executing the laws of the land and must not be unduly hampered in the selection of her subalterns who are supposed to implement her programs of governance.

    Secretary Gonzalez and General Esperon have shown solid performance and courage from Day One in their respective offices.

    Let us not allow personal or partisan reasons to prevent able and competent people from serving the people.

    Both enjoy the confidence of the President and no amount of black propaganda and character assassination will prod her to drop their appointments.”

Well, to paraphrase Mike Defensor’s immortal palusot for Gloria’s voice on the Garci tapes, “That’s Bunye’s voice but he’s not the one doing the talking.”

Palace launches Stop Erap now campaign

Posted in Manuel Buencamino by uniffors on the September 26th, 2006

The ruling regime will do everything to get an interim parliament in place before the May election.

Gabriel Claudio, one of Mrs. Arroyo’s footmen, told the Inquirer “We’re racing against time, we’re competing with preparations for the mid-term elections under the present setup.”

Why is Mrs. Arroyo hellbent on preventing the May election? Erap might run for the Senate.

Erap for senator

Posted in Manuel Quezon III by uniffors on the September 25th, 2006

Manuel Quezon III has an idea that will guarantee more sleepless nights for Gloria Arroyo.

Referendum on Estrada
By Manuel L. Quezon III
Last updated 00:45am (Mla time) 09/25/2006
Published on page A15 of the September 25, 2006 issue of the Philippine Daily Inquirer

THE LATE TEODORO M. LOCSIN SR. ONCE made an observation about power, and how holding it too long and without challenge dulled the mind, corroded the spirit and would eventually prove self-defeating. Not only that, questioning power, after it has been monopolized by a single person or a single group, was pointless because it is asking for too little, too late.

“The voice of moderation,” he wrote, “pleading for due process of law under an absolute despotism, arguing the possibility of persuading the tiger to change its stripes and cease to be a tiger, does not know the tiger. Asking the tiger and the lamb to lie down together in gentleness—as though it were possible—disarms the lamb and feeds the tiger. It is a form of pharisaism: doing evil with a good conscience. Ultimately, the tiger, grown dull and stupid from undisputed rule, fails to distinguish between friend and food and devours not only lamb but pharisee.”

Deadly silence, ominous rumblings

Posted in Brownman's Posts by uniffors on the September 24th, 2006

“ON the stand, Maj. Gen. Jovtio Palparan complains, ‘I just feel as if I am being extracted information on matters that are military. I invoke the right to remain silent.’ – From Patricia Evangelista’s article on Palparan’s testimony at the Court of Appeals.

Meantime, the MILF threatens to take up arms again. HERE

Airhead to the rescue

Posted in Manuel Buencamino by uniffors on the September 23rd, 2006

For Mrs. Arroyo, the more worrisome aspect of the recent events in Thailand was the total undermining of the silly argument that political stability can be achieved by shifting to a parliamentary form of government That’s why Mrs. Arroyo has pulled out all the stops to defend the pro cha-cha catechism. Read our previous editorial.

Belinda Olivares Cunanan, an airhead columnist better suited to gossip and fashion commentary than to political philosophy, is one of those stops. She wrote that those who assail parliamentary government because of the coup in Thailand are arguing Fallacies.

    “Thailand’s parliamentary system is a young one, and the recent military adventurism is an indication of the need for it to mature. Note that in a mature parliamentary system such as Britain’s, there’s plenty of dissatisfaction with the political leadership, but any hint of military intervention is unthinkable,” she wrote.

The obvious response to Cunanan’s sidestep is, “It’s not the age, it’s the quality of leaders. That’s what makes for political stability anywhere at any time.”

Cunanan concluded her defense of parliamentary systems with an invitation to cha-cha now, “…the recent event (the coup in Thailand)) doesn’t take anything away from the parliamentary system. We ought to commence this system at the earliest possible time, so that it can mature to its enviable fullness in other vibrant democracies.”

Where Lambino of Singaw ni Bangaw loves to pull fallacies out of his ass, Cunanan’s invitation to “cha-cha now” strikes us as a bit pornographic. “We ought to commence this system at the earliest possible time, so that it can mature to its enviable fullness in other vibrant…” sounds like an invitation to something that is both fallacious and fellatious.

The Comedians

Posted in Manuel Buencamino by uniffors on the September 22nd, 2006

Malaya’s coverage of the Thai coup captured stand-up comedian Mike Defensor’s newest laugh lines.

Malaya reported, “Michael Defensor said in a radio interview that investors who are having second thoughts about going to Thailand might see the Philippines as a viable alternative because it is relatively stable despite destabilization attampts”

Because the house sitting right beside a house on fire is always a good investment alternative?

In response to those who said Thailand’s coup made a joke out of the pro cha-cha arguments that a parliamentary system does guarantee stability, Malaya reported,

“Defensor also said having a parliamentary system of government like that of Thailand is not a guarantee against a coup but it can at least “stall” the process.”


“He said under a parliamentary system, those who want to change leaders would have to go through the members of the parliament. He said disgruntled parties can iron out their grievances instead of taking out their problems on the chief executive who is “just one person.”

And Shinawatra is not “just one person”?

And parliament is such a bulwark against coups it forced the army to use all of 10 tanks and over a dozen humvies to immobilize the entire Thai Air Force, Navy and police forces?

Maybe we should be kinder to Defensor, after all he’s a blood relative of Miriam Defensor Santiago.

Let’s excuse Defensor’s latest nuggets by paraphrasing his funniest punchline ever, “It was his voice but he was not the one doing the talking.”


One Night in Bangkok

Posted in Brownman's Posts by uniffors on the September 21st, 2006

Looks like Rep. Teodoro Locsin Jr. is still angry at being blind-sided by Prospero Pichay’s midnight amendment. In this privilege speech he focuses his rage at Speaker de Venecia.

One night in Bangkok
By Teodoro L. Locsin Jr.
Delivered as a privileged speech at the House of Representatives on September 20.

Mr. Speaker, may I rise on a matter of personal and collective privilege; personal and collective because it affects everyone in a chamber poised to switch to the parliamentary system one way or another because it is allegedly the most stable democratic form of government.

Not so long ago, and repeatedly, Mr. Speaker, you held up Thaksin Shinawatra as a model of the ideal parliamentary leader who best exemplifies the superior advantages of the parliamentary over the presidential system of government. This, in spite of the fact that Thaksin became a multibillionaire, with a media and manufacturing empire, on his income as a military officer and later as a member of parliament. Indeed, on the strength of those incomes he was able to purchase the prime ministership of Thailand along with the rest of the government. His sister treated the Thai air force like her own private jet service. Thaksin only forgot to buy the Thai Supreme Court and, of course, he could not buy the King, though he did suggest marginalizing the sovereign. Those were his mistakes.

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