Life in Gloria’s Enchanted Kingdom

Never give a sucker an even break.—W.C. Fields

I was telling my wife about a scam where someone hacks into your e-mail account and uses your identity to swindle money from your contacts.

“How?” she asked.

“With a sob story that ends with a request for an emergency loan,” I replied.

“Terrible,” she said.

“I got one recently,” I said. “And it was signed in my name.”

“Duh,” she remarked.

“I know,” I replied. “But I was so moved by the letter I immediately lent money to myself.”

And that’s how I explained where I got the money for Noynoy’s and Mar’s golf fundraiser. Needless to say, I got a black eye for it. But it was worth it. The fundraiser was fun—great company, delicious food, raffle prizes, yellow sports shirt and umbrella for free and, best of all, no long speeches.

The clubhouse has a great second-floor veranda overlooking the 9th and 18th greens. It’s equipped with native recliners that, on a breezy day, will do what a sleeping pill does, without the side effects. Unfortunately, recliners are not easy to carry around, unlike pills.

Anyway, I was shooting the breeze with one of the female organizers. We were both drifting in and out of breeze-induced sleepiness so I’m not sure about what comes next, a dream or nightmare reality?

“Fundraisers are fun,” I said.

“There’s one next weekend but I’m not going because it’s for Gibo,” she said.

“I understand,” I replied. But I felt compelled to explain why I was going, “The Commission on Elections said columnists have to be impartial.”

“I understand. Believe me, I do,” she said. She’s an old friend. She knows I’m a golf whore and that my idea of agrarian reform is to build more golf courses.

“I bought two tickets,” I continued. “I invited a golf buddy after my first choice turned me down but he also declined. He’s for Villar.”

“What was her excuse?” asked my veranda companion.

“She’s for virile young men.”

“Ouch!” she laughed.

A week later I went to Gibo’s fundraiser. The organizers invited a hundred players but only eight showed up, and one of them was for Gordon. So there were nine participants in all, if you include me, the impartial columnist in a yellow sports shirt.

“Same as the surveys, seven Gibo and one Gordon,” I quipped. No one laughed. “At least Gibo gained two since the last survey.” Not even a mercy chuckle. But I persisted, “The good news is Gloria and Mike will award the trophies, although they will be a bit late.” Someone smiled, finally.

We finished golfing, lunching, raffling and awarding, but still no Gloria and Mike. “A bit late” was turning into a long wait so I decided to leave. As I was saying good-bye I heard the familiar sound of ostentation and intimidation: ear-splitting “wangeoww-wangeoww-wangeoww.”

“They’re here,” I said, hurrying back to my seat.

I expected a rousing welcome for Gloria and Mike. Instead, they were met with stunned silence—well, not exactly; a busboy dropped a tray full of dishes; Gloria and Mike were wearing orange sports shirts and waving the thumb and forefinger V-sign.

Gloria was about to say something when I was startled by a loud voice. “Wake up, sir, it’s midnight and you’re the only one left in the club.” It was the manager.

Midnight is way, way, past my curfew. I was in big trouble with my wife. I had to think fast. And then I remembered the e-mail sob-story scam.

“Do you think it will work?” I asked the manager.

“Well, you don’t have too many options left,” he replied.

“You’re right, I’m dead already, anyway,” I said.

“I’ll help you,” he said. Male bonding is strongest in battered-husband-versus-abusive-wife situations.

He started writing. “Is this believable so far?” he asked. It was great fiction.

“I’m home free!” I exclaimed. “But don’t stop now, ask her to send money, too!”

TWO IS COMPANY, THREE IS AN ORGY
Another poster lifted from The Mount Balatucan Monitor

Black Propaganda

Filomeno S. Sta. Ana III, Yellow Pad/Business World/March 8, 2010

Black propaganda is part of the arsenal, employed in any kind of conflict—in politics, in economics, in war, in elections. All the parties engaged in the conflict—not only the bad guys but the good guys as well—use black propaganda.

Black propaganda’s distinct feature is that the treacherous material assigned to one side actually originated from the rival group.

In this case, the label of “Villarroyo”—describing Manny Villar as Gloria Arroyo’s clone and candidate—cannot be classified as black propaganda. The one who coined the term had no intention to assign the source of “Villarroyo” to the Villar camp. To disclose information and give credit where credit is due, I cite the creative person who coined “Villarroyo”—Manuel Buencamino, our fellow at Action for Economic Reforms.

A good example of black propaganda is the statement that went viral on the internet, titled “Why I will vote for Noynoy,” allegedly written by Winnie Monsod. (Winnie has issued a disclaimer in her Philippine Daily Inquirer column and on television.)
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The Catholic Bishops’ Conference of the Philippines (CBCP) now wants condom ads banned.

They said, “condom advertisements should be banned from television, radio, movies, newspapers, magazines, and public places, as they desensitize the youth’s delicate conscience and weaken their moral fiber as future parents.”

And one of them wants condom manufacturers to add a warning label on condom, something like the scare warnings on cigarette packs. He suggested something like “Condoms don’t prevent HIV/AIDS.”

Well, I got a better idea. How about, “You will go to Hell if you use this product” ?

Manuel Buencamino / Dispatches from the Enchanted Kingdom/Business Mirror

“The ratio of tolerance of our bishops toward the excesses of the Arroyo regime is directly proportional to their intolerance for condoms and contraceptives.”—Philip Gilmore

Health Secretary Esperanza Cabral decided to distribute free condoms “to those who cannot afford it” because HIV/AIDS cases are spreading at an alarming rate. That earned her the ire of the Catholic Church.

One bishop denounced her timely intervention as immoral and warned her that “she already has one foot in hell and many more might suffer the same fate” if she did not stop what she was doing.
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The story below will give you a good idea of how Villar operates, the different schemes he used to go around the Comprehensive Agrarian Reform Law.

Why the Magdalo and the Left find this man so appealing truly escapes me.

THE VILLAR EMPIRE: Dream homes on farmlands
by Jerry Esplanada

IN ADDITION to 450 hectares of prime land near the
Ninoy Aquino International Airport, real estate tycoon
and Las Piñas Rep. Manuel Villar has acquired some
5,500 hectares (equivalent to 55 million square meters) in mostly agricultural lands in various parts of the country.

The Villar flagship Camella & Palmera Homes Inc. and its affiliate firms have been developing the landholdings into housing projects marketed as ”Dream Homes in a total California setting,” ”Slice of Europe,” ”Queen City’s crown jewel,” and country homes with the ”Charm of the Caribbean,” among other come-ons.

Documents obtained by the Inquirer, however, revealed that the conversion of many Villar landholdings from agricultural to residential use was made without the required clearance from the Department of Agrarian Reform.
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An old priest who lay dying in his hospital bed motioned to his nurse to come near.

“Yes, Father?” asked the nurse..

“I would like to see Manny Villar and Gloria Arroyo before I die.” whispered the priest.

“I’ll see what I can do, Father,” she replied.

Villar phoned Arroyo after he heard from the nurse..

“Did you get the priest’s request?” he asked her.

“Yes,” she replied.

“I don’t know why he wants to see us but my advisers told me I should go, it will be good for my image daw.” he said.

“My people told the same thing,” she replied,

“Then let’s go together.” he proposed.

“That’s a good idea,” she said. “We can milk the visit.”

The priest’s hospital room was packed with reporters and TV crews when they arrived.

The priest beamed when he saw Manny and Gloria. He motioned her to stand by the right side of his bed and VIllar on the left. A look of serenity settled on the priest’s face after they took their places.

The cameras were rolling. Everybody was waiting for the priest to say something for the evening news’ soundbite. But he said nothing. All he gave them was a beatific smile.

Villar finally spoke up, “Father, of all the people you could have chosen, why did you choose us to share your last moments with you?”

The dying priest replied. “I have always tried to live my life as our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ did. Now I want to die like He did.”

Villar bowed his head. Arroyo wiped a tear from her eye.

The priest continued, “Thanks to you both my wish will come true.”

“How so?” chimed Villar and Gloria.

“Christ died between two lying thieves.”

Lito Banayo of Malayo writes a very spirited argument against Money Villarroyo.

Why ever not Villar (1)
by Lito Banayo, Malaya

IN the years when FVR was president, a prominent businessman whose name I shall not mention because he is old and ailing was conned by a police character into buying prime real estate right smack along Roxas Boulevard. He was given a torrens title (TCT) and seizing the opportunity to land a bargain, he paid.

When his lawyers went to the Registry of Deeds, they learned that he bought land that belonged to a foundation. In short, the title he had was fake. Police character could no longer be found. (more…)

Gloria Arroyo, Money Villarroyo, Jocjoc Bolante, Satur Ocampo, and Liza Maza. I guess they have something in common.

Magdalo also endorsed Money Villarroyo. They also found something in common with those people in the poster.

And my friend SCHUMEY is disappointed with Magdalo joining Vilarroyo’s big tent.

Photo lifted from THE MOUNT BALATUCAN MONITOR

Letter to Prof. Gary Olivar
Opinion
Manuel Buencamino / Dispatches from the Enchanted Kingdom/Business Mirror
WEDNESDAY, 24 FEBRUARY 2010

All I want is a little more than I can get.—Ashleigh Brilliant

Dear Professor Olivar,

Here you are; it’s already February 24, 2010, two weeks after it became known that you are a government official with dual allegiance, and you are still clinging to your job.

I read what you said in response to questions about your divided loyalties. “My government work is fully compliant with both the privileges and constraints of that status as defined by both the Philippine and US governments.”

My dear Professor Olivar, it does not matter whether you believe it’s okay to “recognize and accept the supreme authority” of two flags and to “maintain true faith and allegiance” to both. The legal opinion of both the Philippine and US governments is not the issue here. What matters here is what Philippine law states very clearly.

“Those appointed to any public office shall subscribe and swear to an oath of allegiance to the Republic of the Philippines and its duly constituted authorities prior to their assumption of office: provided, that they renounce their oath of allegiance to the country where they took that oath;”—Section 5 (3) of the Dual Citizenship Law

What part of “provided” don’t you understand?
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Sorting through criminal billions
Is Villar Hiding From His Crimes?
By FRANK WENCESLAO

Many overseas Filipinos are asking if Sen. and Mrs. Manuel Villar (nee Cong. Cynthia Villar) and close associates aren’t guilty of some crimes in their rush to build up a real estate development empire and incredible personal net worth of P46 billion ($940 million) at the end of 2008 after 16 years when the couple were members of Congress?

An important aspect of crime investigation is modus operandi. It’s evident that Villar’s MO in several housing projects is to acquire and develop raw lands where DPWH plans a road project or can be realigned to traverse. He’s used his positions as House Speaker, then Senate President to use his pork barrel funds or make budget insertions to hasten road construction, inflate the property’s collateral value and borrow housing development funds from government lending institutions.

Up to now Villar maintains he’s from a poor Tondo family. Using as baseline his 1992 statement of assets, liabilities and net worth when first elected to Congress his said net worth even under the most favorable conditions is beyond the realm of statistical probability.

That’s why overseas Filipinos through emails to me suspect Villar’s candidacy is to make the presidency a “safe harbor” to escape prosecution. To this end he’d buy the office with his ill-gotten wealth. Consider that Villar’s campaign spending is as though money’s getting out of fashion like the wartime notes issued by the Japanese during WW II.

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